Growing up, I was taught that I had to dress modestly because men will “lust” if they see me in short shorts or a mini-skirt. I was taught that I could cause men to stumble, and women are in part to blame for this problem. We would frequently scoff at other girls on the streets. “Don’t they know they are a stumbling block to men?”
I was also taught that I could not identify with the desires that men go through, and could not possibly understand their temptations and lusts. This confused me as a young adult who had sexual desires and visual attractions. If this is something apart of me, then it must be 10 times greater for men, I thought.
That’s why I enjoyed Sharon’s recent comment on my blog. Sharon brings in the research to show that maybe, just maybe, I’m not crazy.
Actually, there have been studies- and the studies show it’s extremely possible women may be more prone to lust than men. At the very least, the idea that men are more sight-oriented has been disproved. Here’s a link to that particular study: http://www.livescience.com/799-women-brains-react-surprisingly-fast-erotic-images.html.
The reason I say women may be more horny than men? Well, just look at this study, for example. When hooked to a polygraph, women admit much different things about their sex lives than otherwise. In fact, women actually admitted to having more sexual partners than their male counterparts. http://researchnews.osu.edu/archive/sexsurv.htm. This also explains why some research claims men are hornier, as a lot of that research relies on self-reporting.
Furthermore, historically, women were seen as being the lustier of the two sexes. The idea that men are hornier is an extremely modern concept which started in the western world. Back in ancient Greece, it was assumed that women were too sex-crazed to control themselves. The onus was placed on the male to hold back for the sake of propriety. The reason the play Lysistrata was seen as a comedy was because the situation was believed to be impossible in real life.If you want another historic example, there are plenty. According to Islamic belief, God gave nine parts of sexual desire to the woman and one part to the male. Even nowadays, the Arabic world still tends to believe women have more of a sex drive than males. Given this knowledge, I become particularly frustrated when people try to claim males have lusts females can’t understand. After all, it’s more likely females have more lust to deal with than males.
I encourage you to check out this study and this study that Sharon references. The first study talks about how women react to erotic images just as quickly as men. The second focuses on the sexual expectations that women go through, and how many tend to cover up their sex desires to fit societies mold.
Finally, I will leave you with my “favorite” quote from a stoic philosopher. He obviously did not think women had lower sex drives.
Do not admire your wife’s beauty…from the time women are fourteen years old they think of nothing and aim at nothing except going to bed with men. – Epictetus
We are more of a bi-product of our society than we care to think.
What do you all think?

I agree 100% with this. I grew up in a progressive, liberal, feminist household. We were a little religious, but it didn’t have a big impact on life in general. I certainly never got any of the modesty bullsh*t from my parents.
And yet! I spent most of high school convinced I’d probably never marry or have a significant other because I was too smart and nerdy and shy and not pretty enough. It’s taken years of my husband (yeah, I was so wrong about that!) coaxing me into even being able to figure out what I want in the bedroom, let alone tell him, because I didn’t have the language or *ahem* erotic fiction to form fantasies out of. We’re happily monogamous, but I kind of regret not being able to explore polyamory or my attraction to women before getting married. I got all this toxic messaging from the culture we live in, media portrayals of men and women’s sexuality, how people talk about men and women. I’m glad you’re getting this information out there.
Wow, what a story. I’ve felt this so many times since I’m nerdy too.
Show the movie “The Outsiders” to any 14 year old girl. There’s enough luscious beefcake in that movie to last her well into her middle age. Her father won’t know what happened to his little girl. The casting company knew exactly what they were doing,
Girls don’t have visual attraction, what a joke. That’s what men tell themselves when they find themselves looking at girls who don’t look back. They tell themselves, “Oh, they must not be able to see how attractive *I* am. Therefore girls don’t have visual attraction.”
Yea but conservatives think it, lol
Oh man. I was totally taught that women just can’t understand what guys are going through. Apparently seeing cleavage is an attack on the male mind, etc etc. Which is why “modesty” never really made sense to me- how am I supposed to know what turns guys on?
Especially when guys are most turned on when I wear skirts, lol
Skirts are only more modest when you have to defecate out in nature. Otherwise, I’ll take my pants over a dress any windy day! Far less shaving time cutting into my busy life.
At least it was a relief to discover that women could have strong desire too
I loved this! So fascinating! I didn’t realize that women used to be seen as the lustier of the sexes.