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Philips Social Circle Defend Him, Calling Those Who Disagree “Ungodly”

November 7th, 2013 | Posted by Lana Hope in Patriarchy

titanic_speakers

My friend Heather at Becoming Worldy wrote a blog post that outlines “the path that Doug Phillips will try to take to ‘restoration’ and ‘forgiveness.’” She gives us 15 steps.

1.) Man gets caught with pants down

2.) Man denies it or provides excuses and pretends like everything is fine

3) Man is forced by elders/leaders/media/angry mob of former minions to fess up

4.) Man gives scripted apology admitting the bare minimum of what he did

5.) Man acts “chastened” and “humbled,” invokes his shame and regret at bringing shame on his family

6.) Man expresses how hard this is on him and his family, hoping to use the real and honest sympathy of listeners to get off easy

7.) Man indicates that he is being forgiven by his family and that you should forgive him too because “we all fall short”

8.) Man goes into semi-hiding for a bit, strategically releasing things that not-too-subtly serve as “proof” that he is hard at work improving himself and restoring relations with his family

9.) Man has his acolytes/minions/political and social circle defend his sullied reputation, calling anyone who mentions his indiscretion “bitter,” “spiteful,” having an “evil heart” and engaging in “casting stones”

10.) Man waits until anger at his behavior subsides, then finds an external source to tell his side of the story to, complete with a touching redemption narrative and supportive quotes from his relatives

11.) Man finds or continues a lower level job within his field and publicizes how happy and “humbled” working at it is making him

12.) Man resumes his old station or another one of similar stature, claiming greater wisdom from the whole experience and being “called to lead” once again

13.) Man accuses anyone mentioning his “fall” of not exhibiting proper forgiveness of sinners like Jesus instructs us to do

14.) Man is slightly more careful not to get caught doing whatever it was he did before

15.) Man uses his “everyman” status as a “fellow sinner who has seen the grace of God” to sell more stuff, people buy it, and he gets older and richer

Right now we are on step number 9.

On Generations with Vision today, homeschool fathers Kevin Swanson and Dave Buehner weighed in on the Doug Philips sex scandal (as well as other church scandals).

We learned this.

  • 1. The ungodly are making fun of Doug and the church.  “The ungodly make fun of the church of Jesus Christ until they go to hell or repent.”
  • 2. All the heros of the Bible had scandals. Noah, David, Judas.
  • 3. God redeems the fallen.
  • 4. The sexual revolution of the 20th century is “sucking the church into its vertex.”
  • 5. The Bible has given us the solution for how to overcome sexual temptation (aka. it’s the woman’s fault). Here quoting Buehner :

“The Bible says replace sin with something. The marriage bed is holy.  If you burn, get maried. If you have a sexual problem, take your sexual energy into this marriage bed. Use your sexual energy that the two become one, rather than sex leading you into sin, let it led into unity with your wife. It’s a problem that the church speaks more about the don’t do, then it does the dos. It doesn’t talk nearly enough about keeping the vow, the marriage vow to have and to hold. When that vow is ignored, when that vow is broken, that spouse is turning your spouse over to tempted by the devil. You are turning your spouse over to say “devil, have at my husband (or wife). Because I was the protection of that sexual desire, I was the outlet, and I would rather that person be tempted by the devil.” And that’s not a message heard from the pulpet hardly ever.

And here quoting Swanson:

My wife mentioned that in a careful way that it’s important that we serve our husbands in this way. Of course refering 1 Corinthians chapter 7. [..]”For the wife doesn’t have authority over her own body but the husband does. Likewise the husband doesn’t have control over his body but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” Friends. the Bible gives us sufficient information on how to deal with the temptations of the day.

Finally, Swanson and Buehner close the program by saying this:

“Jesus is not going to allow insincerity and hypocrisy in his church. […] He is going to shake it up.”

I agree. We just saw hypocrisy exposed. The solution is not to defend patriarchy. The solution is to dismantle it and let it go.

What is your reaction?

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  • sgl

    re: “It doesn’t talk nearly enough about keeping the vowel, the marriage vowel to have and to hold. ”

    i’m quite facinated by this marriage vowel — which vowel is it? (I’m guessing it’s capital “O”) i’ll never be able to listen to the abc song, or watch wheel of fortune where someone asks to “buy a vowel”, ever again without a smirk on my face! ;)

    (actually, you put “vowel” several places where i think you meant “vow”, as you transcribed it from the sermon.)

    but humor aside, to the real point…
    the same thing happens in the secular world. (this isn’t to excuse religion, just to point out it seems more universal.)

    witness all the feminists that were extremely vocal about clarence thomas, and senator packwood allegations of sexual harassment, but were completely silent when it was bill clinton. so there’s a secular version of those 15 steps as well. deny, drag the accusers name thru them mud, then say everyone already knew about it, then it was just about sex, not harassment, etc.

    also, when joe paterno, football coach at penn, was fired for covering up and not investigating allegations of child sexual abuse, many of his fans rioted.

    so there seems to be something in the human psyche that simply doesn’t want to know the truth, if it’s about someone that they look up to. (and why football coaches are even on the list of people to look up to, i haven’t a clue!)

    • Alice

      Fundie men and women have different marriage vowels. Capital i’s for men, and capital u’s for women. :)

    • Lana Hope

      oh, dang, I ALWAY switch the two, and I was typing fast when I was listening. I’ll edit. :P

  • http://brucegerencser.net Bruce Gerencser

    The good news about being an atheist? Threats of hell and judgment or demands of repentance fall on deaf ears. :) I am free to say Phillips is a hypocrite and I am free to ridicule his bro’s in the ministry’s attempt to make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. Mark my word, two tears from now all will be forgotten. Phillips will even be preaching at conferences, Seven Things I Learned From Not Knowing My Mistress in the Biblical Way.

    Five years now that some Christians have been praying God will kill me. Evidently, God ain’t listening. It is wonderful to be free of religiously motivated fear and judgment.

    • Lana Hope

      Probably he will be speaking three months from now. No one has rejected him from the fold, clearly. I don’t know why I care. The Christian Patriarchy movement will gone on regardless; it’s not like people are going to see that the problem is rules, gender regulations, and hypocrisy.

      And kill you? My goodness

  • http://biblicalpersonhood.wordpress.com Retha

    It would seem that Kevin Swanson and Dave Buehner are blaming Doug Phillips’ wife?

    (Allegedly: “If he got enough, he would not have been tempted!”)

    • http://republic-of-gilead.blogspot.com Ahab

      I got that impression. They certainly seem to think that if a spouse (read: wife) isn’t ‘putting out’ enough, their partner will be tempted to seek sex elsewhere. This is a toxic approach to sexuality that drains all the warmth out of it. No one should feel obligated to have sex, and marital sex should be an act of intimacy and mutuality, not a chore.

      • Lana Hope

        They are at least entertaining the idea that she didn’t perform enough. It was totally an inappropriate comment given the context of the program.

    • http://brucegerencser.net Bruce Gerencser

      I heard this line of thinking several times at pastor’s conferences. Pastor’s wives were told that if they made herself a sexually desirable person that her husband pastor would desire her and not look elsewhere.

      I counseled a lot of people over the years. Most infidelity took place, not because of sex, but because of a lack of attention. The affair started when the person found someone who would listen to them and gave a s%#t about them. The sex came later.

      I read Ahab’s post on this. These guys are 100% blaming the wife, the woman, anyone but the man who could have said no. Something tells me there is a lot we don’t know about what goes on when the Phillips’s shut the bedroom door.

      • Lana Hope

        Bruce, I left this comment on Ahab’s post, but I’ll repeat it here.

        I used to teach English at the community college. I had several students plagerize papers, but one in particular stood out. He said the reason he copied from the internet was 1) He didn’t have my cell phone number to call me that morning 2) He had to go to court for doing something illegal so didn’t have the time 3) He couldn’t drop the class because of sports or it may have been because of the dorm 4) I didn’t accept late essays…he had other excuses. Never did he say, I chose to copy and paste an essay that wasn’t mine.

        So in DP’s case, the problem is 1) the world sucking him up 2) his wife not giving him enough sex 3) lack of people to hold him accountable. The problem is not, he cheated on his wife without her consent.

        The comment about the fallen heros is puzzling. For one, Mosas didn’t go into the promise land and David the temple. So there was consequence. Second, I wonder if the story would be different had Bathsheba written the Bible. Finally, I am thankful for grace, but grace depands our sincerity.

  • http://becomingworldly.wordpress.com Heather

    I think you are right about that, Lana. Also, it’s only been 10 days since step 1! I guess it’s going according to an accelerated forgiveness schedule? At this rate he’ll be putting out a “what I learned from this sin and how you too can be protected” manual, sold on Vision Forum in hardcover and paperback, with a toy sword and free booklet for women on how not to tempt men, all for only $215 in about six months or something. :p

    • Lana Hope

      OMG you cracked me up! Your steps were dead on because not only did these men defend him, but also they called those who “gossip” about this “ungodly” and going to hell.

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