The Unfundamental Conversion

I Know How Hillary Felt

September 27th, 2016 | Posted by Lana Hope in Politics

I live in a three story townhouse, which means both wall noise and social contact, whether with those in my house or those next door. We share walls, yards, and parking spaces.

Recently, I shared with the student in the basement that I am frustrated with the guy who shares a wall with us because he games at 3 a.m. on the weekend, shouting at his buddies, banging the wall in excitement. Sometimes I hear gun shooting from the games, and I have a lot of gun trauma, and I can actually start crying. During the summer, the noise has been especially loud because he has no reason to close doors and windows, not needing to use his indoor heater.

When I mentioned my frustration to the student in the basement, he said, “well, why don’t you just speak with him?”

At that moment, I trembled. See, I cannot speak with him, because I am afraid. The guy next door, you see, will turn it back on me. “I’ve heard you go to the bathroom at night” and “but I’ve heard you in the closet at night.”

But, of course, there is a huge different. That I make a little noise at the night when I move is significantly different than a person intentionally shouting names and banging a wall, at 3 a.m.

But I know the guy next door. I know how the conversation will go, because I know him. I know how it goes because we’ve had talks and conversations, and I just know.

I bring this to attention in light of yesterday’s presidential debate. During the debate, Trump talked down and bullied Hillary, and she could not call him out for his sexist, bullying behaviour. She need to be able to not only fight back loud and strong, to literally say “B.S.” at him, but also to be able to say out loud, that his actual behaviour at that moment was unacceptable.

After all, at the republican debates, Trump’s opponents were known to say to Trump that he needed to cool down before responding. “Count to ten, Donald,” “breathe, first, Donald” I remember Cruz saying. Hillary could not respond in the same way Cruz did, and no one was there to stand up for her, either. She was not alone in the room, and yet she was alone. No one blew a horn and interfered.

Every woman knows what it is like to be in that situation, and it was painful to watch.

The hardest part of being a woman is not sexual harassment, the lower pay wage, or less rights: its living in a world where men are usually “right” and have to work less to get further. Its living in a world where you silently bear the pain because no one is there to fight for you.

Its needing to send your friend or partner to speak for you, because the guy next door would never listen to you.

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  • Tracie

    Sad but true. I can relate on so many levels. You’re not alone. But it sure feels like it sometimes!

  • Lisa A.

    No intention here of causing a ruckus on your post, and maybe you won’t allow my comment, but as a strong, independent, confidently assertive woman, I respectfully disagree. To stereotype this as a man-woman thing is sexist in itself and in no way represents all women. Again, speaking as a 47-year-old woman with three children, I have no problem with the way Donald Trump conducted himself in a contentious, political, public debate against a perfectly capable professional politician. And I also, respectfully and civilly, submit, that you have no idea how Hillary Clinton felt. If the temperature of that debate bothered her in any way, she has no business being the leader of the free world. Bullied? Good grief. Hillary is not some kind of abused spouse and she was just fine. Lastly, no, I don’t know what it’s like to be in “that situation”, to live in a world where “men are usually right”, and I don’t “silently bear pain”, because, as a woman, I am accustomed to the right to stand up and fight for myself. My life has not been easy and I’ve had plenty practice. I despise shooting games, and I guarantee that neighbor would hear from ME. I’m truly sorry that you seem to have experienced some sort of struggle with men in your life, but please don’t represent personality as gender. Women have come too far to be classified as victims because they were treated equal to a man by a man in a political contest. You don’t have to personally like his nature, but save the sexism card for when Trump condescends to her with a soft, gentle tone and no challenge, implying she needs special handling and treatment because she’s a woman. Again, my respectfully submitted, differing female opinion.

    • your opinion is always welcome. You are right: I don’t know how Hillary processed it. a better way of saying it is that I know what it would feel like to be shoved that way.


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